I’m in a particularly silly mood, so here goes some silly predictions for the quarterfinals.

Germany to thrash Argentina 5-1, with Maradona scoring the Argies’ consolation goal, after being so frustrated at his teams utter pathetic-ness, that he came down from the stands to join the game. The ref let this one go, cos he was drinking from the same spiked soda can that Graham Poll left behind before he left for home.

England to beat Portugal 15-0. All the goals coming in the last 10 minutes, after the last Portuguese player dies of boredom – along with every other spectator in the stadium.

Ukraine to beat Italy 6-5. All the goals will be scored by Shevchenko in the first half, the first 5 for Italy until he realised he wasn’t playing in Serie A anymore. Then, just before the second half commences, the Italian magistrate arrives on the scene and arrests half the Italian squad, while the other half are detained by the FBI for suspected involvement in organised crime. Referee has no choice but to abandon game.

France to beat Brazil 3-0. Just before kickoff, Ronaldo is seized by fits and is then sensationally included in the starting line-up, and then Zizou scored 2 headers, while… wait a minute, that’s like so deja-vu, innit?

Also published on Chit Chat Bola: World Cup Edition


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