First the pictures. Scroll down for the background story.
The Melaka state flag at Ayer Keroh at sunset.
“You gotta cracker on ya? No? Then scram, boy!”
“Dude! Is that, like, real leather?”
“I know I can eat ya. I will, too – but not right now. Have your people call my people, and we’ll have lunch.”
“I may not have the multi-coloured feathers like the missus, but damn if I don’t have balls the size of peanuts!”
“Yeah! Gua rock sama lu!!”
“Aw! Gosh! You gonna take my picture? Gosh golly jee whiz, you’re making me blussshh..”
“Hasta lavista, babeh! Ahm getting outta heah! But ah’ll be bach!”
“I could’ve sworn I’ve eaten this stuff before…”
“Watch while I rear up and throw the kid into the tiger’s den! Maybe that’ll convince them to put me in a show with the chimps…”
“Man, I’m a pain in the neck…”
“Ooh, that feels gooooood…”
“Visit Sarawak, yo. Screw the Peninsula – East Malaysia rulez!!”
“I ain’t nothing but a hound dog! Err, I mean, hound… bird…”
“You’re too thin. That’s ok – I’m on a diet anyway…”
“All right! Check it out bro – more garbage! Man, I love Malaysian generosity!”
“Don’t go too far, sonny. I think the chimps are getting a hankering for monkey meat…”
“Brains the size of a planet, and we’re stuck here! Whatever happened to us, Cletis?”
“Shut up! You made me lose my place! Now I have to start over – pi is 3.141…”
“I remember when all this was just ice.”
“No you don’t! You have the worst memory ever! You’re a disgrace to elephant-kind everywhere! And what’s with all the shit? When will you ever be toilet-trained….”
The background story
A couple of friends of mine decided to go to Melaka yesterday for a day trip. I decided to join them. It was a spur- of-the-moment decision. I should have known better – my spur-of-the-moment decisions don’t always turn out good.
We got to Puduraya round 10 am. The next bus to Melaka was at 1.30 pm. We realised this would mean that we would not have enough time to do a lot round Melaka town, but since we were already committed to do this thing, we bought those tickets anyway.
Bus journey from Puduraya to the Melaka state border took approximately 1 and a half hours. Bus journey from just inside Melaka state borders to Melaka Sentral (bus terminal in city – poor man’s version of KL Sentral) took about an hour (damn traffic jams…)
We got to Melaka Sentral and proceeded to get ripped off by the taxi and bus transportation tsars. Bastards, all of them.
What’s worse was we discovered that all the bus tickets from Melaka to KL were sold out. In our haste, we’d forgotten to purchase return tickets.
The options available to us was simple. Stay overnight and catch a return trip the following day, or take a taxi back home.
We went for the taxi option (I wanted to get home by nightfall for certain reasons). They told us the cost would be RM 40 per person (even though the sign board outside so very clearly stated the price to be approx RM 32 per person). We couldn’t negotiate with anyone else because everyone was in the cabal. Bastards, all of them.
We were already running out of time. We decided to cut out pretty much all sight-seeing activities except for the Zoo.
Haggled (unsuccessfully) for a taxi to take us to the Zoo (which is in Ayer Keroh). Cost: RM 30.
Rip-off? You bet.
The zoo was ok. It was after 5 pm when we got there, so there wasn’t much happening. Most of the animals were in a slumbering mood, and so were most of the zoo staff, apparently.
It was about 7 pm when we left the zoo. Called the inter-state taxi service counter at Melaka Sentral (tel no: +06 282 3630). Now they told us the cost would be RM 160 for all of us to go from Ayer Keroh to KL. I tried to haggle the price down, but they were incredibly rude and basically told me to either accept it or hang up.
It was getting dark, and we had no choice. We said OK. The guy on the phone asked me where in KL were we to get off. My friends lived in Bandar Utama, and we figured we could get down in TTDI and we could go our separate ways from there. So I told the guy on the phone to drop us off at TTDI.
He replied that for TTDI, the cost will be RM 200. Bastard.
I told him no way, he had just said the price was RM 160, how could he simply change the price now?
Take it or leave it, he said.
It was getting darker by the minute, and my mood matched the sky.
I told him then to drop us off at KL Sentral instead.
RM 180, he replied.
I almost blew up. I asked him, so what about the RM 160 then? Where would he drop us off for RM 160?
He said it was a mistake, “they” had given me the wrong quote (who were “they”? He was the only guy I’d been talking to the whole time!!). Bastards, all of them.
So I hung up.
Eventually we managed to flag down a passing taxi, with a passenger already bound for Seremban. We haggled the price to take us to Seremban to RM 100 (he wanted RM 120) as well as asking him to take us directly to the KTM station there.
We reached Seremban sometime after 9. Took a KTM Komuter to KL Sentral and reached there sometime after 10.
I took a bus back home while my friends got a taxi back to their place. I reached home round 11-ish, took a very light dinner, watched Battlestar Galactica and eventually went to bed thinking about the transportation tsars of Melaka Sentral and how they were undoubtedly bastards – all of them.