Coronation, Starscream? This is bad comedy..

This is a story of a boy named Sashi,
Who was a very very very lazy boy.
He always hated doing his homework,
But he just did enough to get by.

There was this teacher, who taught Geography,
Who assigned map drawing work.
She told the class, “If you don’t finish”,
“I’ll make sure all your butts are gonna hurt!”

And so Sashi, pretending to agree,
did not bother to take any notes at all.
At the end of the class, when he had to “pass up”,
he submitted a different workbook, doodles and all.

In the evening, as he was back from school,
Sashi had to go see a dentist.
The evil Dr pulled out 4 teeth,
and told him he needed braces!

As Sashi was now in serious pain,
The Dr wrote him an MC.
it was valid for 2 days,
So Sashi got himself 2 days cuti!

The next day, Sashi got a phone call,
it was from his friend and classmate.
His friend told him, “You’re in trouble now!”,
“Cos the teacher wants you DEAD!”

“She saw your workbook, and you did nothing”,
“She wants to send you to Headmaster”.
Sashi said he’s gonna try to find a way out,
Or else his butt is gonna be in plaster!

Since Sashi had another day off,
he decided to put it to good use.
He got the assignment from his friend,
and then shoved his head into the Geography books!

He diligently copied all the maps,
using tracing paper and many colours.
The capitals were marked with bright red,
with black ink marking the borders!

He finished all his assignments,
by the time the clock struck ten.
And so he put his books away,
And prepared the next part of his plan…

The next morning, he returned to school,
The day went by without a glitch,
Everything was fine, everything was cool,
And then the Geography teacher walks in – the bitch!

She immediately hauls up our hero,
Leading him by the ear to the front,
Began scolding him for not doing his work,
Her harsh words leaving the class stunned.

But Sashi stood silently, his ears growing red,
When she was done, he gave her a withering look.
He told her he had done his work,
But had mistakenly submitted the wrong book!

He offered the “correct” workbook,
containing all the maps and stuff,
While his classmates watched on and wondered,
Whether he’ll get away with this bluff!

The teacher didn’t buy it, though,
Besides, she had already insulted his race,
She had referred to his kind as thieves and crooks,
And now she couldn’t be seen to lose face.

She called him a liar and a fraud,
Which was true, although she had no proof,
She told him to go see the Headmaster,
and leave the class before she hit the roof!

A prefect was assigned to escort Sashi,
to make sure he ends up at the HM’s office.
But the prefect was a very good friend,
and “abandoned” him to go take a piss.

So Sashi was left all alone, out on the courtyard,
Wondering what to do, what to do.
He could pretend to have seen the HM,
But the teacher might find out it wasn’t true.

He then made a very bold decision,
Others would call it very stupid.
He walked straight into the HM’s office,
And told him the truth (or at least, his version of it)..

He said the Geography teacher had completely lost it,
And despite his explanation, she didn’t believe him.
Which is why he was here seeking justice,
Could the HM please, please rein her in?

The HM listened to him quietly,
Didn’t even say a word, not a whisper.
But he then told him to return to class,
While he’ll have a word with the teacher.

Sashi was elated, delighted to have escaped,
But the HM then told him, he must meet the teacher,
And that he must apologise to her, because,
After all is said and done, she was still his elder.

All Sashi could think of, was that no cane would land on his butt,
So he happily agreed to the terms and conditions.
And then he went back to his class,
And found everyone out for Physical Education.

And so it was that Sashi escaped the rotan,
His tale was whispered in the corridors for many a year,
But one thing was frequently left out –
He had never apologised to the teacher.

Today, he sits and wonders,
staring at his computer monitor.
He realises he has done wrong,
And wants to tell the teacher:

“Puan Fauziah, I will confess,
You were right, and I am sorry.
But you used racist insults against me,
Which was why I became very angry.

“But what’s past is past,
Brooding on it is a stupid thing to do.
And so I take this moment to say,
Pn Fauziah, I sincerely apologise to you.”


*Sung to the tune of The Brady Bunch. Actually, I wrote it to the tune of The Brady Bunch, but along the way it veered all over the musical scale, so you can sing/recite it any damn way you want….;)

Oh, and the title obviously has nothing to do with the post – except for maybe the “bad comedy” part…


18 thoughts on “Coronation, Starscream? This is bad comedy..”

  1. Funny one, but the one over at bloggersaremorons was even better… Possibly the best entry of the entire lot!

  2. notti boy arrr u..but seriously Pn. Fauziah shoudnt made those nasty remarks.. anyways, it was a cute post, i like it!

  3. “lupa bawa buku” + innocent smile usually worked for me…but you get more points for the drama factor la 🙂

  4. Am I the only one who thinks that you were right in not apologising to Pn Fauziah? Not doing homework is one thing, but condemning a whole race based on your actions is inexcusable. She should have apologised, preferably publicly, for such racist remarks. Put it this way: if you have a school-going child, and he/she has a teacher who did that to him/her, would you want your child or the teacher apologising first?


  5. There once was a boy named Sashi,
    Who committed a crime so serious,
    Though it wasn’t quite murder,
    It was still just as devious.

    Sashi didn’t do his homework,
    And he should have been whipped silly,
    But the boy got away with it,
    And was never punished for being lazy.

    And so Sashi the boy grows up,
    And has since become Sashi the adult,
    But he never quite learnt the lesson,
    That laziness is a major fault.

    HM, you shoulda whupped Sashi’s ass,
    That would have helped, I believe,
    Then maybe, we might finally find out,
    What exactly happens to Steve!


  6. James: You kill me, dude… 😉 OK, OK, as soon things slow down a little at work, I’m back workin’ on Steve. I PROMISE… although I suspect I’ve done that quite a few times already… 😀

  7. Pingback: sashi-isms

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