[This post is rated 12-F for wanton and uncensored references to football. You have been warned.]
I’m sitting here, thinking to myself – let’s blog.
Five minutes later, I’m thinking – what shall I blog about?
Cue another minute passing by – I need a title to start things off….
Two minutes – Forget titles, let the content decide the title.
Three minutes – Now what?
Five excruciating minutes later – Oh hell, I’ll just blog about football again. Sorry dear non-football-supporting reader.
Shall I write about how incredibly, incredibly, incredibly disappointed I was with our loss to Birmingham at the weekend? I mean, COME ON! No, no, I won’t write about that. I get depressed when I do that.
Ah. Better yet, I ‘ll write about Championship Manager, specifically how I’ve been faring in my most recent game since my last update.
(While I have recently purchased Football Manager 2005, I have yet to start a new game in it, since I have yet to completely exhaust all the possibilities afforded me by CM 03/04.)
In my previous post regarding this, I mentioned that I had taken Huddersfield Town from the Third Division to First, and was preparing for a shot at promotion.
Well, I did succeed in that – thanks in no small measure to two major signings that season: defensive midfielder Keith Andrews (who I signed on a free) and striker Noel Whelan (also on a free). The combination of Whelan and Fagan upfront was brilliant and yielded plenty of goals, while Andrews (who I made captain) was imperious in midfield. I eventually finished second in the division, thus earning automatic promotion into the Premiership.
My first season in the premiership was a bit difficult, but still good, with my side finishing 12th. Nothing much would happen during this season, except for the fact that I was finally able to permanently sign the formerly on-loan players, Fagan and Courtney Pitt.
During the summer though, I was able to sign the unsettled and disillusioned Bruno Cheyrou from Liverpool for a knock-down price of £ 3 million. I would also add two central defenders (Chris Morgan and Alan O’Hare), leftback Franck Queudrue (on a free!), and young Supat Rungratsamee. Oh yes…
The result was beyond my wildest dreams.
That season – Huddersfield’s second in the Premiership – I took them to 6th place and hence a place in the UEFA Cup. I also reached the FA Cup semis, only to lose to Chelsea.
I then added Stefan Moore, who had a run-in with his manager at Blackburn, and so was available for £ 2 million only. What an explosive striker he turned out to be! He would pretty much be the missing piece of the puzzle. By now, Huddersfield’s finances were considerably healthy for a small club, and having had a group of mostly young players together with a few seasoned veterans for a season, I was able to field a team that basically, well, clicked.
Huddersfield finished 2nd in the league, just two points behind Chelsea, but perhaps more importantly, we won the UEFA Cup too! My first trophy! Yes, hopefully now Liverpool will appoint me as their manager!
No luck. Houllier was still there, despite their increasingly desperate performances.
So I decided that the only way to attract the big boys would be to go on and win the league title. To this goal, I splashed out on several players, most notably Cristiano Ronaldo (yup, can you believe it? Only in CM, baby, only in CM….. )
Also, I was fully aware of how cup distractions can affect your team’s league performance, so I deliberately got Huddersfield knocked out of both domestic cup competitions early by playing the reserve and youth team players. We’d also get knocked in the Champions League group stage, finishing third in our group and hence qualifying for the latter stages of the UEFA Cup. Rest assured I got the team out of that competition quickly too.
Now the stage was set for the final showdown – the battle for the league championship. The contenders were Chelsea, Newcastle Utd (managed by Sven-Goran Eriksson, would you believe) and in third, little old Huddersfield Town. Fortunately, the strategy to concentrate on one competition only paid off in spades. We put together a club record of 9 consecutive wins and a 19-match-unbeaten-streak to snatch the title at the very death, pipping Chelsea on goal difference alone. What a ride!
According to the ‘news articles’ posted on the News window, the fans were delighted (as they should be) and planned to build a statue in my (or at least, my virtual alter-ego’s) honour. Gosh, darn, I feel so humble….
Anyway, weeks after Huddersfield’s league triumph, Houllier resigned from Liverpool. Quick as a shot, I applied for the vacant managerial post. And juts a week before the new season began, I was offered the job – and now here I am as Liverpool manager.
What I’ve done with Huddersfield is nothing with what I plan to achieve with Liverpool. Watch this space.
[P.S. By now, I’m guessing some of you out there would probably be shaking your heads in disbelief, wondering if I forgot to take my medication and if the mental institution knew I was missing. I assure you all – I’m not anywhere near as loco as you might think. The again, if I was nuts, I wouldn’t exactly go round admitting it, would I?]