Unresoluble Dilemma?

This is about a friend. And no, it’s not me. Seriously, this is really about a friend…

The dude has a major problem. The kind of problem some people wish they had, but also the kind that people who have experienced it before would rather they be notified a few years before they get embroiled in it.

The dude is in love.

Now the girl he has the hots for is… well, she’s pretty hot, indeed. If not for the fact that this dude is my friend, then darn it….

…but he is my friend, so get that thought out of your head, Sashi boy….

Now where was I?

Ah, yes. So the dude’s in love, right? And I hear you asking (or I’m hearing things), “Is she in love with him?”

The answer would be yes. I think.

The reason I cannot be certain is, well, both our protagonists here have yet to confess their feelings to each other. He, of course, has already let me know – in full, soppy, mushy, disgustingly Technicolor detail of the depth of his love, yada, yada yada…

She on the other hand keeps blushing whenever I mention his name.

Whether it is infatuation, or love, or some other sick ritual designed to make those of us single folk who are unfortunate enough to be in the same general vicinity of these people to puke in righteous anger – I don’t know.

But there’s something going on here, and it sure as hell ain’t platonic.

So what’s the problem? Where’s the beef? What’s stopping these two from getting together, signing the marriage registry and joining the efforts in increasing world population numbers?

One itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot problem.

He’s Indian. She’s Malay.

Well, hotshot, what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

I’ve told him to convert. “Dude, convert je lah, love conquers all, bla, bla, bla..”

And he probably would too.. except that would almost certainly break his parents’ hearts, and not to mention alienate him from the rest of his (rather conservative) family.

Then there’s the other small, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot issue.

He is an atheist.

OK, at this point, some of you might be thinking, “Hey, sounds a bit like Sashi, innit??”

No. It doesn’t sound anything like me. I, for one, am an agnostic. Let’s get this straight, OK? I am not this dude.

Anyway, back to the dilemma. I presented him with some options:

  • Fall out of love with her.
  • Convert.
  • Run away to another country where he won’t have to convert, and then get married.
  • Stop moping around me (highly recommended)

What else, eh? Suggestions, anyone? Anyone?



16 thoughts on “Unresoluble Dilemma?”

  1. The last 3 suggestions are good.
    He could forget about the girl and ask family to set him up with someone. I heard many people going for this option but eventually couldn’t go through with it.

  2. wow that’s a tough one… it’s always a tough one..
    but i think one of your suggestions is good. run to another country. thumbs up!

  3. The singles misery:

    1. Lonely, with no one to love
    2. Lonely, with unrequited love
    3. Lonely, with mutual love, but cluster fscked by social norms.

    I’m amazed we’ve hit 6 billion people. How do we reproduce?


  4. lol! I like your descriptions. Suggestion? Do the dating thing for a while and see if it really does work and if it does then do any drastic changes. Maybe approach parents and try to get them to see dude’s point of view, gradually break it in.

  5. dude, what’s the use of converting since he doesn’t believe in it in the first place?

    relationship is hard enuff without this sorta complications.

    converting because u wanna marry is a precursor to disaster. what happens when the marriage ends? revert balik.

    if u want to convert let it be because of ur sincerity in embracing the faith, not because of a mere technicality.

    another thing, how long has this been see-sawing along? how sure are the couple of eachothers feelings. love is a feeling that can easily be mistaken for gas..

  6. Ah, my friend (or should I say “friend’s friend”). This is an easy problem. They say “true love conquers all”. Well, if it is indeed true love, then he and her will get together and everything will end happily ever after.

    But if they don’t, then it can’t have been true love in the first place.

    Anyway, all this hand-wringing and upset-getting is par for the course. Hormones, you understand.

    Alternatively, you can just arrange it to get the both of them stuck in a lift and see what happens an hour later.

  7. Ok I’ll cut the crap.

    Why is your friend worried about converting, marriage, eloping etc.

    From what I’ve read they haven’t even started dating. Sometimes we overanalyze and think of the future too much. Dont’ jump the gun. Enjoy the company first and take each day as it comes. Maybe it might not work out. Maybe it works out but it wasn’t as great as both of them thought. Maybe it’s fantastic and they just can’t wait to tie the knot, even sacrificing social ties.

    Really, just date first, go out for some hand holding dates, make out a bit, have decent conversations, get to know her and just enjoy it.

  8. Dear all – thanks for the suggestions. I’ve informed the dude about your comments, and in reply he chewed my head off for blogging about it.

    In any case, I’ve told him that whatever the issue, I (and apparently anyone else) cannot help him out on this one. He has accepted it – although HE CONTINUES TO MOPE AROUND EVERYONE!! (I’m putting this in bold ‘cos I know YOU’RE READING THIS, DUDE!)

  9. Well if your friend ever decides to pursue and marry and doesn’t want to convert there is another possibility. You can marry a malay without converting but that involves a long process to get the court order. My family friend has been at it for the past 2 years. So good luck.

  10. What!!!!! Morientes snubs pool. Damn it!!! Yla so unlucky this season.

    Ps. I don’t know much about this love thing, so I can’t say much on this love complication.

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