The friend – GDS
The friend’s phone – Nokia something-something
The friend on the other end of this friend’s phone – Clueless and unimportant
At the coffee-shop:
GDS: (yakking on the phone) No, no, you turn right after Jalan XXX, you see the Bangunan YYY, right after the YYY, you see the Lorong ZZZ, go in there, go straight to the end, turn left, first house on the right….
Me: (Drinking Nescafe tarik)
GDS: (still yakking on the phone) What do you mean tak nampak Bangunan YYY? Where the hell are you lah? (Pause.) Alamak!! That’s in Ampang! The house is in Klang lah!!!! Adoi pening kepala je lah! OK, you come back home first lah, I’ll pick you up myself later… aiyo…. (hangs up)
Me: Problem ke?
GDS: My damn friend lah. Fellow arrived from UK yesterday, thinks he knows KL inside out. Dah lah tak balik 6 tahun, does he really think the city hasn’t changed at all in that time ke? Bodoh punya budak….
Me: What’s he studying over there? (starts chewing on a karipap)
GDS: Civil Engineering. PhD.
Me: (Nearly chokes on his karipap)
GDS: He’s studying in Liverpool. Your city lah tu! (cue stupid grin on face)
Me: I *SUPPORT* Liverpool FC. I didn’t study there.
GDS: That’s what I meant lah… I think he supports Liverpool also.
Me: Really? He’s a football fan eh? (Mentally places GDS’ friend on good guy list)
GDS: I think he likes F1 more, but I think he also likes Liverpool.
Me: F1? (Mentally puts GDS’ friend in bad guy list)
GDS: Eh? Maybe you know him one? You were there around 6 years ago, right?
Me: Not in Liverpool.
GDS: Yalah, but he also visits other places also kan? You might have seen him there, after all, Malaysians are easy to kenal what?
Me: Err… (decides to give up) What’s his name again? (Brings Nescafe cup to lips)
GDS: R—- bin M——.
Me: (looks startled) R? The somewhat tall Malay fella, right?
GDS: Not so tall, but maybe to you, maybe lah….
Me: Yeah, yeah, black hair, always wears jeans.. kan?
GDS: Ya, man, YA! Jeans tak berapa tau lah, but young people nowadays…
Me: Wears glasses, right?
GDS: No glasses, maybe sunglasses kot?
Me: Right, right! No glasses… he’s a bit hunched also kan?
GDS: A bit lah. Eh, so you know him lah?
Me: Nope. Tak kenal langsung. (proceeds to checkout counter to pay for drinks)