Stupid nonsensical prose

I am so freaking thirsty. I don’t get it. I’ve been drinking so much water I should be filling up like Samy Vellu. It’s 3 am. I can’t see shit. Why aren’t the lights working? Where’s everyone? I can’t hear anything except this stupid ringing noise, like I’ve got a telephone in my head, why isn’t somebody answering the damn phone?? Lucky it wasn’t one of those hand phones with ringtones so annoying you’d kill the guy who answered it. Beethoven’s Last Symphony is meant for the concert halls, not on your dumb but oh-so-cool Sony Erricsson mobiles!

I gotta get to the kitchen. I need more water. Why’s the floor all wet? Did someone mop the floors? Someone should have put up a sign or something, damn it! Don’t they know people could die by slipping on a wet floor and banging their head on some sharp object??

Gotta be careful, don’t wanna trip on the stairs on the way down, stupid double-storey houses..

It’s wet everywhere! I can’t walk barefoot like this, I’m definitely gonna slip.. Where’s my slippers? Shit, I can’t see anything! Goddamn Electricity Board! Always picking on the little guy, damn S.O.Bs…

Head’s still ringing. Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop.. Wait, it stopped… no, there it is again… ring ring ring ring ring ring…….

Panadol. Panadol should do it. Lots of it. It’s in the kitchen, I think. And water, gawd, I need water.

Is that the kitchen door? Yep, found the doorknob. Right, where’s the cabinet, up above, on the left… there we go. Where’s the Panadol? Where’s the Panadol? Where’s the Panadol? No Panadol. Don’t nobody get headaches around here? Stupid happy people.

What the..? What’s that on the floor? A log? Why people leave logs around in the middle of the kitchen, that’s what I wanna know. Hang on a sec… Oh, it’s not a log. It’s one of them. Stupid kids. Never get in the way. How many times do I have to keep spelling it out? NEVER EVER GET IN THE WAY!!

Found the faucet. I need a cup or something, where’s the cups? Where’s the cups? Where’s the cups? I can’t see anything 3 feet in front of me, I need some light, oh screw it, I’ll just scoop the water with my hands.

Aah! Refreshing. Elixir of life! Give me strength to overcome the cruel creatures of the world, people like him and his stupidly happy family, trying to show me up, that’s what they do, offering assistance MY ASS!! I don’t need their help, not their charity, imagine them telling me to GET HELP!! Trust no one, you idiots! Who’s gonna help you now?? Who?? No one, that’s who!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring………….

I’m thirsty again. And the floor’s getting wetter. How is that even possible? I haven’t even moved! Is there a leak somewhere? I don’t hear water gushing, just the ringing, always the ringing……

I must get out of here. I must move it. Must move it. Move. Move. MOVE!
I can’t move! My legs aren’t working! What’s going on? One leg at a time, c’mon, you can do it, DO IT! Shit, it’s not working. I’m gonna have to crawl.

Yuck! My hands just touched something on the floor. I don’t know what, but it feels gross!

I can feel the wet floor.. it’s so warm. Sticky too.

Have to drag myself to the door, stupid immobile legs, not easy on a wet floor, must have been hard for him and his wife too, having to crawl to the phone, stupid do-gooders….

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring………….

Something’s dripping on to my hands. Is the ceiling leaking?

It’s so dark. It’s even darker than before. I can’t even see my hands anymore. I hope I don’t bump into one of them again. That’d be disgusting. I bet they’re going cold now….

My arms are weakening…. I can’t support myself like this… Have to lie down for a while.. Catch my breath….

Something just moved!! Shit! Shit! Shit! I thought I finished them all off! The knife! Get the knife! Get the knife! Get the knife! Where’s the knife?? It was right there in my hands…. Wait, I wasn’t holding it when I came down, I remember now… Where did I…? Did I leave it stuck in her? No, I remember pulling it out… yes, I definitely pulled it out….

Nothing moving now. Must have imagined it.

I need to turn over, my face is all wet………..

AARGH! Goddammit, something just poked me in the back!! What the…?? Reach behind, must grab it, must reach…. reeeeaaach…… got it! Dammit!! How did it get there? Pull it out! Pull it out! Pull it out! AAARGGH!!

The knife. Stupid wet knife. He must have stuck it in there. After I thought he was dead too. Liar! Cheater! Always deceitful, even in death! Him and his stupid Sony Erricsson phone…. I have to get back up there, have to make sure he’s…….

I can’t hear the ringing anymore.

I can’t hear anything.

I can’t see anything.

Stupid short, mortal life.


4 thoughts on “Stupid nonsensical prose”

  1. killuminati: i was just in one those moods when anything anyone says seems so negative i’d want to rip their throats out… fortunately it passes very quickly.

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