TO THE FEDERAL AND STATE GOVERNMENTS

Congratulations on being given the mandate to administer the state and/or country for the next 5 years or so. Regardless of the political parties and officials that will constitute the makeup of the government, please try your hardest to keep the promises made in your respective election manifestos. 

Mr Prime Minister, you claimed that the losses your party suffered was due to a ‘Chinese tsunami’. As has already been noted in several analyses and objective opinion pieces elsewhere, the results were more due to a shift in urban voting patterns and not necessarily tied to any race groups.

I say this because I don’t want to see nor hear from any official quarter any blame or accusation being leveled at my Chinese-Malaysian countrymen or to any race, for that matter. Many of the multiracial citizens of this country rejected the politics of race, religion and corruption in the hopes of ushering a new phase of democracy in Malaysia.

And I think we succeeded to some extent,  if I may say so myself.

We voted out a few whom in the past tried to divide the populace by spewing hate-filled venom, pitting neighbour against neighbour in the name of race and/or religion. We don’t want them back, and I hope you won’t bring them back. If you could charter a flight to take them far away, that would be great. I hear Antartica is nice this time of year.

Please do away with race-based politics and policies. What’s good for one Malaysian ought to be good for all Malaysians.

Don’t seek to label or group people based on race. Please remove those odious race fields in official forms. I’m Malaysian; isn’t that enough?

Don’t let segments of the population be dependent on handouts. Provide opportunities to grow to all who may otherwise be left out of the nation’s economic growth, regardless of race, religion, colour, creed or political persuasion.

Strive to ensure that everyone has a fair shake at making a success of themselves. A citizenry equipped with the skills and knowledge to be self-sufficient and independent means less burden on the government in propping us up.

Mr Prime Minister and all state Chief Ministers, please remember that you are responsible for ALL the citizens in the country/state, not just the people who voted for you and your party.

Please do take note of the many legitimate grievances of the rakyat. The stock market may  hit record highs, and business tycoons may yet continue to prosper, but Johan Public continues to struggle with low-income jobs and rising costs of living.

Corruption continues to be endemic, and transparency in government business remains suspect. Crime rates are worrying, to say the least. Freedom of expression and other basic human rights continue to be curtailed in the name of outmoded laws and regulations.

The repealing of the ISA was a good start, Mr Prime Minister. But it remains only a start. There are lots of stupid laws out there on the books. Get rid of them.

Members of the federal and state government cabinets, please immerse yourself in your respective job portfolios. Work honestly and diligently for the betterment of the nation. Please do not look for opportunities to line your pockets while ostensibly carrying out your duties. Please do not confuse the rakyat’s money with your personal expense account.

A few things you can do that you may not have done before (or not done well):

• Reach out to the public. Campaigning is over, you’ve won, so there’s no need to play to the gallery and make empty promises. 
• Use any means at your disposal (media, internet, town-hall meetings, etc) to get closer to the rakyat. However you do it, make sure you hear them out.
• Work with your staff in preparing plans to solve or at least ease the people’s woes.
• Present said plans to the rakyat. Get their buy-in. Do NOT proceed if the people are opposed to them. Amend plans or start from scratch again. Don’t take short-cuts. And don’t ride rough-shod over the people’s will.
• Execute plans okayed by the rakyat. Present a quarterly or annual progress report to us. Don’t bury it in jargon, ensure everyone is able to understand what you’re doing and how things are going.

Remember, success in governing a state or nation is not measured by profit-loss numbers or balance sheets. If it was, we’d just get rid of the whole lot of you and bring in a corporation to run ourselves.

Success relates to the well-being of the citizens. Keep this at the forefront of everything you do.

You are public servants. You are accountable to the rakyat. Screw up, and you’ll hear from us.

We’re watching. Closely. Ignore us at your peril.

TO THE OPPOSITION MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT AND STATE ASSEMBLYMEN/WOMEN

Congratulations, you’ve won the confidence of your constituents to represent them in parliament or the state assembly. Unfortunately, not enough of your fellow party members won as well, so you’re now sitting on the Opposition benches.

But it is not the end of your work. Just because you do not have access to the public coffers does not mean you can’t do anything good for the people.

Your primary job (indeed, your single-most important role), is to provide checks-and-balances to the federal and/or state government. Without your presence and eagle-eyed vigilance, the ruling party could well be tempted to abuse their privileges and power.

Ask questions. Probe questionable deals and dodgy bills. Present the woes of your constituents to the sitting government. Take them to task over promises that are not kept (or dismissed as figures of speech). Don’t be tardy or play hooky. Divide time equally between meeting your constituents and attending Parliamentary or state assembly sittings.

But don’t oppose everything for the sake of opposing. Work with the government to help the people. At the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about: getting things done for the rakyat.

For starters, here’s what you can do:

• Form a Shadow Cabinet. Ensure each portfolio on the government side is matched with a representative on the opposition side.
• Ensure the Shadow Cabinet works as diligently as the government cabinet ought to. Think of plans and ideas to help the rakyat. Just because you’re not in power doesn’t mean you do nothing. The more heads we have taking a crack at problems, the likelier the chance we’ll find good workable solutions.
• Prove to the people that you can form an alternative government.

We’ll be keeping an eye on you too. Let us down, and you may not get a second chance 5 years down the road.

TO ALL THE LEGALLY-ELECTED PEOPLE’S REPRESENTATIVES IN PARLIAMENT AND STATE ASSEMBLIES

Congratulations on your victories. The elections are over. Campaigning has ended. Now get to work.

Leave juvenile politics behind. Stop the childish name-calling and baiting that passes for parliamentary and state assembly sittings these days.

Don’t engage in provocation or respond to it either. Don’t throw a hissy fit and leave the hall. Any such walkout protests do nothing for the rakyat, and it only leaves the other side in fits and giggles. Don’t give in to them. Stand fast, stand firm, stand your ground.

Speakers, please play fair. Partisanship is unwelcome in the matter of getting things done for the people.

Please, please work together in creating a world-class Parliament and state assemblies.

TO THE SURUHANJAYA PILIHANRAYA (ELECTION COMMISSION)

You guys… what the hell happened? What went wrong? The level of incompetence over the organisation of the elections is staggering.

Put aside the (unfortunately difficult-to-prove) allegations of vote-rigging, fraud, mysterious ballot boxes and magical blackouts. Even the clear and visible evidence of screw-ups that anyone can see is upsetting.

Take the indelible ink fiasco, for example. Yes, it is a fiasco. First you say it’s fool-proof, then you say it depends on how your staff shake the bottle, then you say it’s watered-down to meet halal guidelines, and finally you say it doesn’t matter cos people can’t vote twice anyway, etc etc.

The ink was purchased at a cost of a couple of million ringgit, am I right? That’s the rakyat’s money, and you end up dismissing it in the end as being essentially irrelevant.

There are also issues with organising and managing the large queues of people who came to vote. In some cases, it was almost a free-for-all, with people not knowing exactly where to go and what to do when in the voting centre.

It was only down to helpful individual EC staff and officials on the ground who managed to keep things orderly. It certainly wasn’t down to any official Standard Operating Procedure, that’s for sure.

All in all, the EC seems to have been stuck in a time-warp, practicing old-school processes that are out of date in the 21st century.

And stop kow-towing to the powers-that-be. Work with BERSIH and other NGOs to ensure that the next elections are truly clean, fair and free.

Look, the simple fact is this: BERSIH enjoys the confidence of more people than you do. I seriously doubt anyone would go on a march for you guys.

Clean yourselves up, and then clean up the electoral process. The future of this nation depends on what you do next.

TO MY FELLOW MALAYSIAN CITIZENS

I salute you!

You came out in droves, in record numbers, to vote for the future of our country.

You took it upon yourselves to prevent possible electoral fraud from occurring, sometimes at great personal risk.

You engaged in the national debate for our nation’s soul, in trying to determine the path it should take. And you did so in full voice.

Whatever happens now, rest assured you did great. Congratulations!

It doesn’t matter who you voted for. The important question we ask ourselves now is, “What’s next?”

We must hold our elected representatives accountable.

We must hold our government accountable.

We must not turn a blind eye to corruption and injustice at any level of government.

We must not try currying favour with our leaders or participate in bribery in order to get ahead of the pack.

We must look out for our fellow citizens, whatever their race, religion or political persuasion.

We must voice our objections to unjust laws and policies that sow discord and hurt our countrymen.

We must object to lies and disinformation that are spread to create fear and arouse misplaced anger.

We must also close ranks without prejudice and work together, in honest toil, for a better country.

And let’s not ever give up on each other, no matter what happens.

We’re Malaysians, you and I. Long may that be the case.

TO NURUL IZZAH ANWAR, MP FOR P121 LEMBAH PANTAI

Congratulations, Nurul on retaining the Parliamentary seat for Lembah Pantai, my constituency.

I admire your principles and efforts to campaign based on issues instead of trading insults and cheap shots with your opponent. Indeed, it was quite regrettable that the ex-FT Minister chose not to accept your offer to participate in a debate with you.

You show remarkable maturity and class for someone so young (only 33!). And yet your work in Parliament over the last 5 years is a clear testament to your having your head screwed on right.

But please don’t rest on your laurels. There’s more work to be done, and even more uphill battles to be fought.

You’re on the Opposition benches again, so you might want to read what I wrote somewhere at the beginning of this long post. (Not that you might actually be reading this, but what the heck, I just want to syok sendiri a bit…)

Your opponent kept harping on your alleged no-show in Lembah Pantai, so here’s your chance to prove him and his supporters wrong.

As you’ve already mentioned in your various ceramahs, you’re not going to get much facetime in the mainstream media, so the public-at-large may not know what you do.

But your social media and digital team certainly outdid themselves in getting the word out of your activities in this campaign, so you might want to persist with them in doing the same for the next 5 years.

Keep working hard, stay humble and classy, and kick some a$$ when you’re in Parliament!

Sincerely,

Me.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 7,900 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 13 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

So this man walks into a bar and goes, “Ouch!”

*pause for applause and hysterical laughter*

Thank you, I’m here all week!

Nothing.

It’s been almost a week since the passing of the King of Pop, and everyday we see more tributes to his musical genius and reminders of how much of an impact he’s had on pop culture.

Being a child of the 80s, I too grew up with the music of Michael Jackson. As a kid, I remember watching agog the now seminal videos of Billie Jean, Beat It and the mother of all music videos, Thriller. And who can forget his pop-locking smooth dance moves, culminating in the jaw-dropping and probably the most attempted dance move of the 80s, the moonwalk?

A few years later, I scrimped and saved my from my meager allowance to buy my first ever music album with my own money – Bad. (Original, too. Indeed, I’ve never bought a bootleg copy of a Michael Jackson album in my life, and I’ve bought every album from Bad till HIStory.)

While Thriller (my dad had bought this album, albeit a pirated copy unfortunately) was an awesome showcase of pop genius and visual extravagance, Bad was all about the attitude, baby. (Man, I really wanted a leather jacket when that title track was released. )

(Of course, there were all those rumours about MJ being gay due to the opening line of Bad that sounded like, “Your bird is mine…”, and given our juvenile senses of humour back then, “bird” meant only one thing. Fortunately, my original copy of the album came with full lyrics sheet which revealed that what MJ was really saying was, “Your butt is mine.” Which probably didn’t help quell those rumours one bit, although it did show MJ’s predilection for creative pronounciation. Shamon!)

Was there a single track from this album to which I did not try to sing along or attempted to move? (Note the words “try” and “attempted”.) They were all awesome, awesome songs, and while I know Thriller’s the ultimate MJ album ever, Bad’s still my personal favourite. Songs like the introspective “Man In The Mirror” and the sassy ode to a hot chick, “The Way You Make Me Feel”, and “Smooth Criminal” (Annie are you wokay? Are you wokay? Are you wokay, Annie?) used to get non-stop rotation in the privacy of my room.

Then came Dangerous, and I took part in various contests that were run in conjunction with the album release. I won several posters (some of which I sold to my classmates for a tidy profit), a cap (which I still have stashed away somewhere), and tonnes of calendars (again, sold to classmates). This was probably the most rewarding experience I’ve had in participating in any contest.

I loved quite a number of the songs on the album (Black Or White, Remember The Time, Heal The World, Jam, Dangerous, etc), although by now people of my age group were beginning to move away from Michael Jackson and on to lesser music like heavy metal. (Yeah, I know, I probably just made quite a lot of enemies. Heh!) Armchair critics were aplenty, saying it didn’t measure up to Thriller and Bad (but seriously, what album could??) and MJ was on the way down.

Fortunately, most industry critics rated the album well, and history now views the album rather favourably.

Not soon after, came the controversies, scandals, and what-have-you. It detracted from the legend of MJ, putting the spotlight on his erratic behaviour like never before, and suddenly it was uncool to be a fan anymore.

Not me, though. When HIStory came out in 1995, I was right there in the music store on the first day of the album launch, buying the album. Sure it was a double album, and it did seem like a dumb marketing gimmick to include a collection of greatest hits with new songs, but hey, they were great new songs! I loved the defiance of “They Don’t Really Care About Us“, the melancholy of “Stranger In Moscow“, the comforting “You Are Not Alone” (although the video starring the topless white-skinned duo MJ and Lisa-Marie was weird), and the eco-friendly “Earth Song“.

But that was to be the beginning of the end of my association with MJ’s music. I was in college at the time, and I was beginning to gravitate to a genre of music that was taking us by storm, i.e. grunge. I was now listening to Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden, while my MJ cassette tapes languished at home. Angst was now the currency of choice in the music world, and we were flocking to anyone trading in it.

MJ, on the other hand, was still fending of the suspicions and allegations that continued to hound him. Despite this, he still managed to put together a world concert tour, eventually becoming probably the biggest star ever to grace our shores when he held a 2-night concert at a sold-out Stadium Merdeka in Kuala Lumpur in October 1996.

Sadly, I wasn’t in the country at the time, having left for the ivory towers of the United Kingdom just a month earlier.

Although he would later perform in London for 3-nights (in the summer of 1997), tickets for the shows were astronomical (for me, at least) and I also happened to be preoccupied with erm, other affairs at the time.

And then he just disappeared from my radar. Sure, the occasional song popped up in my consciousness (Blood On The Dance Floor), and in 2001, the album Invincible came out. I did not buy this album, which shows, I guess, how disconnected I now was to my former musical icon.

To be honest, I didn’t really think about MJ anymore, not until the sensational circus of his court trial rolled into the spotlight. I followed it like every other jaded child of the 80s, wondering whatever happened to this childhood hero of ours, in his funny pajamas and funny face.

While I, like many of my peers, couldn’t bring ourselves to believe all the allegations people threw at him (and thus was relieved when he was acquitted of all charges), I still had to shake my head at hearing all the revelations of his free-spending lifestyle and eccentric people. I blamed his handlers, his hangers-on, his posse for leading him astray, but let’s face it, MJ’s no baby. He should have been more responsible for himself, but perhaps he trusted people too much, trust that would eventually be misplaced.

And so MJ vanished. There was nary a peep from him, till the surprising announcement of his concert series in London, and then the shocking news of his passing.

I still can’t believe it. This man sang and danced to the soundtrack of my generation. His death all of a sudden leaves a vacuum of silence around us.

If there is a silver lining to all this, it’s the fact that the world is rediscovering his music anew, reveling in his dances, and reminiscing warm, fuzzy memories of a time when a young man wearing white socks with black loafers and a glittering sequined gloved on one hand tried to heal the world by getting us on our feet and rocking with him.

Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson. You’ll Never Rock Alone.

Hi y’all! Your friendly neighbourhood bloggers group AllMalaysian Bloggers Project (AMBP) is organising it’s kinda-annual blogger gathering on May 1 2009 (Labour Day), to be held at Studio V (The Star’s multimedia showcase place) at 1 Utama.

And this time around, the theme is based around the upcoming STAR TREK movie.

The event is called AMBP First Contact at Studio V, and there’ll be loads of activities and stuff going on, for both bloggers and non-bloggers alike:

• Treasure Trek (i.e. a treasure hunt using GPS equipment!)
• Blogger video interviews (you can watch, or you can participate and BE interviewed!)
• Star Trek Captain’s Chair auction (take photos with the Chair, or buy it – starting bid is RM1,701 – Trekkies would recognise the number…)
• Photo Session with Star Trek characters
• Lucky Draw
• Trivia Challenge (with questions prepared by a serious Trekkie, so be prepared!)
• Online Contest (win a cool Star Trek T-shirt that GLOWS when you’re near a WiFi hotspot!)

And to end the day, there’ll be an special EXCLUSIVE screening for bloggers of the new STAR TREK movie, starring Chris Pine, Zoe Saldana (mmmm!), and Sylar, err, I mean, Zachary Quinto, and directed by JJ Abrams (of Lost and Alias fame).

So if you’re a blogger, join the AMBP today and register for AMBP First Contact at Studio V now! You won’t want to miss it!

See ya there!

Photo Credits: Industrial Light and Magic and Paramount Pictures